Waking

Waking

Chapter Six - End of Part One

“Then one day--just like that--the rumblings in my stomach return...My digestion has turned itself back on, from silence into function” 

When I first read this passage on how the author’s digestive system just turned itself back on months after initial paralysis, all I could think about is how his body is telling him to connect! Through this Trauma and Separation (the title of Part One), Sanford has slowly been disconnecting himself from his paralyzed body. Essentially he has built up a wall between his functioning body and paralyzed body, deciding not even to acknowledge two thirds of himself. The turning on of the digestive system was his paralyzed body telling him not to separate, not to fall back into the silence. This underscores the importance of listening to what your body is telling you, especially in yoga. Yoga has taught me to feel the minute, forgotten parts of my body and listen to them. When I am doing a pose that does not feel right initially, I have learned to listen to my body to see if I am doing the pose correctly. Downward dog (yes, the pose that is simultaneously the bane of my yoga practice as well as the clearest marker of my progress) initially felt so awkward and the opposite of relaxation. Well that was until I realized that the weight of the pose is supposed to be in my legs. It felt less awkward after I learned that adjustment. I am starting to get the hang of hearing whether a pose is incorrect or just difficult. 

“This is a moment familiar to most of us, a time when life suddenly becomes different, like the day when getting kissed by a parent is no longer comfortable or skipping is no longer feels cool. In such examples, childhood innocence is discarded--for example, the act of skipping--so that something else can be embraced”

This is one the passages in the book that stopped me in my tracks. I had to reread this excerpt over again because it was so inspirational. The last part of that quote, “so that something else can be embraced” struck a chord with me. The changes in life, where you realize that what you have become comfortable with is not longer, happen so that something else can be embraced. These new changes are making space for something else to throw your arms around and rest in the comfort of its warmth. This is just beautiful to me, a person who dreads change, who constantly idealizes the past and who longs to go back to the good ol’ times. I am constantly restless in the present, refusing to accept and settle after the big change. The fact that this often dreaded change makes room for something else just as important, just as comforting, just as secure and above all deserving to be embraced brings me so much hope and contentment.

Asana Practice Week Six

Asana Practice Week Six

I really enjoyed class on thursday with our discussion on yamas & niyamas. At first, the different lists of values or character traits in the sutras always seem so random (probably due to the English translation). It is interesting to see how they relate to each other. I wish that the sutras explained how to achieve yamas & niyamas rather than just the result of practicing them. I am especially interested in how yoga can lead to contentment and non-violence. I am not sure if that is addressed elsewhere in the sutras or that it is left up to the individual to discover in his or her own meditation

I enjoyed the breathing part of class also. It was fun taking the deep breaths on the inhalation and exhalation. The direction of where the breath is supposed to go (“from the base of the spine, through every rib, into your chest and lifting your collarbone) was really helpful. My breath felt like a little caterpillar climbing up and down my torso. I am guessing that that’s the point as I could feel every point in the process of inhalation and exhalation. It was much harder to bring that deep breathing into downward dog which was disappointing (and just when I felt like I was starting to relax in that pose!). I think that all relates to what Dr. Schultz said about how the poses can be almost infinitely improved on and that they are so “deep” that there is always something new to learn from them. 

Reading Reflection Week Six

Reading Reflection Week Six

Yoga Sutras III.1-3

I like the distinguishing between concentration and meditation. I originally thought that meditation and concentration were synonymous but the initial sutras of chapter three demonstrated how they are different. The sutras explained that the concentration is keeping you mind in one position, preventing it from wandering. I almost imagine this is placing your mind on a line and keeping it there. After you have your mind set on the line, the next step is meditation. Meditation is focusing on a point and one image. The way I thought about it was that at the end of the line, there is an image that you are looking at. After the steps of concentration and meditation are attempted, the yoga limb of samadhi is within reach. Samadhi is where you become unaware of yourself.

These first three sutras (and last three limbs of yoga) have really helped me in figuring out how to do meditation (in the general, reflective sense of the word, not the strict yoga definition). The sutras are a three step process of achieving lack of consciousness of self. Before reading these sutras, I would just close my eyes and hope that I would be able to focus enough to venture somewhere in my mind. It’s nice to have this direction on how to meditate. It is almost similar to directions on how to do poses, except this time you are “posing” in your mind. Thinking of it this way, I can see how the limbs of yoga are all related.

All Posts and Comments from Locked Blog

DISCLAIMER: I am not tech savvy enough to figure out how to import all the previous posts and comments for the first four weeks of class so I screen grabbed pictures of them and am going to upload them in this post. Sorry if they are hard to read!

Reading Week Five

DISCLAIMER: Sorry if these posts are out of order, I am trying to move all my posts from my locked blog to this one so bear with me (:

Reading Week Five 

The Kleshas and Karma II.10 - II.17

11.17 -- The conjunction between the seer and that which is seen is the cause [of suffering] to be avoided

When I first read this sutra, I was very confused. How can suffering come from someone seeing something? My impression of suffering is that it comes from actual actions of others. Thankfully, the book I bought off of Amazon has a brief explanation of many sutras. This sutra is explained thus, 

“Likewise, the remedy for the suffering of embodied existence is to remove purusa from its association with prakriti”

Parusa means self and prakriti is nature. I got the impression that this sutra is trying to say that removal from suffering is removal from our connection to this world. Suffering comes from trying to connect with things that are seen, or in the world. These things are not inside of us, but outside of us. To prevent suffering, means to turn inward into ourself through mediation, I assume.

I see how meditating can free us from suffering as we can clear our minds and see truth. Being able to see truth will allow us to make wiser decisions that will not produce suffering. However, I am not sure what the ideal life for a person who practices yoga is. Do they want to completely sever connection with “what is seen” forever? Can we prevent suffering by intermittent meditation? I guess what I am trying to understand is if their is an inverse relationship between disconnection with what is seen and suffering. Does more disconnection mean less suffering? 

Asana Practice Week Five

DISCLAIMER: Sorry if these posts are out of order, I am trying to move all my posts from my locked blog to this one so bear with me (:

Asana Practice Week Five

I really enjoyed our discussion in class on Tuesday on how asana practice figures into the eight “limbs” of yoga. I never knew that actual yoga poses were a more recent invention it seems to strengthen our bodies for a more important practice, sitting. Being able to sit for long periods of time in the ancient days was so important as it enabled students to listen to masters without discomfort while they talked. The best part is that sitting is still so important today. It is almost a lost art, to be able to sit properly and without aid. Without realizing that sitting was the end goal of asana practice in the ancient times, the results I have been most excited about in the five weeks I have been doing yoga is the strength and knowledge to sit properly. I find myself thinking about sitting in class or while I am studying and knowing how to do it brings so much relief to my back. 

Speaking of improvement, I can stand longer too! I stood for about seven hours at Floyd Casey on Saturday as I was working the Bear Zone for Student Foundation for a couple hours before the game. I stood for most of the time, even during time outs with little discomfort. I kept reminding myself to push my front ribs to my back ribs, tuck my tush under, and straighten my back. That knowledge I learned from mountain pose helped me a lot. 

While standing and sitting are getting easier, most of the other poses are very slowing moving forward. They may take a while longer to accomplish! But that is okay with me. I am satisfied with the improvement I have made so far! 

Waking

Intro - Chapter Five

“This book is my first attempt to articulate something about our consciousness that has struck me because of my unusual experiences with mind and body”

When I read Sanford discuss the consciousness he feels in his body, even within the paralyzed parts, I immediately think about the way Crohn’s has brought awareness to a part of my body as well. Sanford asks the reader if they were told to stretch the muscles between their ribs or lift their arches, would they know what to do? (xiii). In the same way, I can ask my friends if they could pinpoint the moment their lunch moved from their stomach into their intestinal tract. I have an acute awareness of the digestive tract in my body because of the acute pain that radiates from it frequently. Of course, my experience is nowhere near the severity or pain levels that Sanford experienced, but I understand the sentiment. Before I was diagnosed with Crohn’s, I rarely thought about food after I swallowed it. But my “unusual experience” has struck me with a consciousness I have not felt before. The same experience is felt through athletes like Derrick Rose, who tore his ACL and in rehab learned how to engage core muscles that actual helped stabilize a seemingly disconnected part of the body such as the knee. However, I don’t think you need to experience a traumatic injury or be diagnosed with an immune disorder to gain awareness of your body. Yoga can raise that consciousness! I am excited to continue to read this book and learn more specifically about Sanford’s journey into yoga practice. Although I have only seen a glimpse of his yoga practice post-paralyzation in the story so far, I am curious to know how it is possible that he feels “presence” in the back of his heels (5), an area of his body confined to paralysis.

“In retrospect, I realize how profoundly this feeling of boundary imprinted me...The spinal integrity of that thirteen-year-old boy was spewing all over the place, like a downed electrical line. The plaster cast directed this spillage back through his body, restoring his sense of place” (50)

The word “imprint” appeared multiple times throughout the text up to this point but this quote about the significance of the body cast on Sanford painted a vivid picture about what we have been doing in Yoga and Philosophy class so far. In class, we have used blocks to imprint into our bodies a presence that will guide the direction of poses. Outside of those blocks, we are imprinting on ourselves how the body is supposed to move and feel through asana practice. I can’t tell you how many times I have been standing this month and subconsciously pushed my ribs backward and tucked my butt under. Also, even though the muscles and tendons of our body are not quite as literally spewing all over the place as they were in the author’s body, I can see how over the years, bad posture and neglect have left some parts of our body twisted and knotted like Ipod headphones you just pulled out of your backpack. Just like the cast Sanford wore to keep his back in the correct place while his newly placed vertebrae fused together, yoga can serve as a cast to hold our body in its natural position until its muscles, tendons, bones, and joints fuse together in the correct way. It is also encouraging that when the cast was initially put on Sanford, he said it was the most excruciating pain he ever felt. The imprint, and the resetting of body parts by yoga is initially supposed to feel painful, awkward and unnatural. For someone who embarrassingly found Mountain Pose one of the most difficult poses to do at first, I find comfort in the fact that imprinting boundaries on our bodies is supposed to initially be painful.